Ooh Err

It has occurred to me that I begin school today (I am writing this yesterday, in a strange non-paradox of time). This is quite a bad thing; last year I almost completely burnt out, and this year will be worse with GCSE exams and whatnot. So, please be patient if updates slow for whatever reason - I will begin to collect random thoughts and then write about them, so that I will hopefully not have any lack of inspiration.

Today's random thought (hopefully building on the 'Mindscape' part of the title) is based on an incident that occurred today. An invasion, an assault; the start of an offensive against my street. An offensive by whom, you may ask?

Well, by gigantic brown pigs, of course.

No, I am not crazy and yes, I am telling the truth. A pig found it's way to one of my neighbour's homes and was trapped in their garden, the gate providing - adequate - defence against it's enormous (and possibly hungry) bulk. In fact, it was so huge that it took to chewing on the planks of the gate, and could have (quite easily) taken off a variety of limbs. Not to mention the smell. Oh God, the smell.

But this is all superfluous. The pig's entrapment was a last-ditch attempt to prevent exposure; he was, in actuality, a scout sent to discover the strengths and weaknesses of this area in preparation for the first strike upon a human colony - B-Day. The pigs will rise up, don armour and turn the tide upon the bacon industry.

The Vegan Armies will no doubt rise up with the pigs, and the world shall be plunged into the deepest of wars. It shall end once the pigs take mastery of flight; there is nothing to stop a pig once it is airborne, nothing at all - especially if it is airborne in a Harrier II jet.

Sraen out, with a side of rashers.


P.S. I am publishing this at 6:30 in the morning. I didn't even know it was possible for people to wake up at that time. Also, why does the mad scramble for school the night before (because it is against the law to do anything earlier) so... mad?