Northern Flop

Northern Rock shares plunge 32%



I can just imagine the board meeting that led to this happening. I shall demonstrate, thusly:


CEO: Hey guys, you know what would be great? Let's have a completely unique and fragile business model that could fall apart at the drop of a hat!

Underling 1: Are you sure that's a good idea sir? What if something happens?

CEO: NOTHING will ever happen!

Underling 1: But sir, we work in a very high-risk business. There's always the chance that something will happen; remember the crash in the 80s? That was pretty bad, an-

CEO: Begone with you!

[CEO presses Evil Red Button (tm)]

Underling 1: MY SKIN IS INSIDE OUT AND DISINTEGRATING!!!!

[Underling 1 vaporises]

CEO: Now on to the second order of business; what we should do with all that CASH. I say we spend as much as possible so that we have many many assets but almost no on-hand money.

Underlings: [in unison] YES SIR. OF COURSE SIR. WHATEVER YOU SAY SIR.

CEO: Eeexcellent.



Sorry if this post seems a lil' bit rough, but I've got a nasty flu and only in the last hour has my head been clear enough for me to even think about posting. See you guys on Monday!